Monday, March 7, 2011

Revelations from my Bed

After a night of deep sleep, I had about two good, pain-free hours this morning...ahh, bliss! You forget how wonderful it is to just feel "normal" until you have hours/days/weeks of pain. I was so appreciative of those hours today.

The pain has been in and out since then, seemingly connected with how well I obey the doctor's instructions to "be quiet and rest". I'm trying, I really am.

Sense of humor intact this morning I had a couple of funny revelations as I, being the good girl that I am, laid quietly in bed .

While Dave, Caleb and Claire managed life without me during my hospital days, laundry is NOT one of the things that got done while I was gone. Oh if only you could see my laundry room! On second thought...maybe not.

Caleb came in after school and told me, with a cute smirk, that he was on his third day of the socks he was wearing...and oh by the way, "How do you work the washing machine again??" Proud to say he did put a load in by himself with me shouting instructions from the bedroom. Smile!

I'm afraid poor Dave is suffering in the sock department too...we're going to have to do something about that. Now that Caleb's an "expert", maybe I'll put him on laundry duty.

I was talking with my sister-in-law today (actually at the same time as I was giving Caleb laundry instructions!) and she pointed out my next revelation. Her husband one time said, "I'm a good dad, but I'm not a very good mom." Light-bulb moment right then!

Dads are meant to be dads, and moms are meant to be moms. Sometimes I think Dave should be able to do more in the "mom" category around the house. But when I turn the table I realize, he doesn't expect me to be "dad" change the oil in the car, chop the wood, fix the lawnmower or kill the gophers infesting our yard! He does all those things, and more, really well. I don't. Why would I expect him to be a good mom??

It doesn't mean he can't do some of the things I do, or that I can't do some of what he does...but there is a good division of responsibility in our house that works out really well most of the time (providing one of us is not in the hospital!). That feels good to me today to think about our roles and how we live them out for and with each other.

And when I take it a little further I realize that I actually LIKE my mom responsibilities. In fact I am having a hard time not doing them right now.

The flip side of the laundry not being done is that I realize I'm kind of important around here! Yes, my family can step in and take up some of those things that I do regularly and without really thinking about it. But when I'm well and able, it's one of the ways I can serve my family and keep things going so we all do the things that we're intended to do.

So those are my revelations as I lay here in bed this afternoon. Sigh. I seriously look forward to getting up soon and doing that laundry.

PS. Dave is seriously an AWESOME dad and husband! Just wanted that out there for the record!


  1. I love that statement from your sister-in-law! I get annoyed when my husband is home with our daughter on the rare occasion that I am out and he doesn't get anything done during her nap times etc. But, as you pointed out, there are things he does around the house that I could never do and wouldn't even want to attempt to do. Lately I've been thinking about how differently we interact with our daughter, and how both types of interactions are important. It made me feel really sorry for kids who only have one parent, to be missing out on what unique things the other parent would be bringing to their relationship.

  2. Connie, I loved reading your latest post!!! You made me laugh a lot :-) ... oh, how true your revelations are! :-)

  3. Wish I could be there to help out!! I would gladly be doing some laundry!! Love you and thankful to be able to keep up on your journey through the blog!! Praying for you!

  4. Maybe I've just been doing laundry for so long that I forget that there was a time that I didn't know how to do Caleb. But really, how hard is it to sort the whites from the colors, turn on the machine and add some detergent? You could write down the last sentence for him and keep a copy of it posted above the washing machine in case he "forgets" how.